Ranking the Love Interests of Last Kingdom’s Uhtred

In three seasons of Last Kingdom, many women have come and gone from Uhtred, son of Uhtred’s life. In the first season he made his way through three of these women but as he’s gotten older he has slowed down considerably. Let’s rank these women from the “absolute worst” to “dang I wish they could have had their happily ever after” (but everyone on this show dies). Since everyone on this show has a crazy name and most of these names you’ve never seen in writing, I’ll provide a brief description of who each woman because I’m nice like that.

6. Skade: Remember her? Crazy witch lady from season three? She cursed Uhtred which could very well be the reason Gisela (more on her later) died and his brother Ragnar. She earns last place in this ranking for that very reason. She cursed him and straight up told him she would only take the curse away if he “bed” her. She sucked. Sorry not sorry he killed her.

5. Mildrith: Uhtred’s first wife, a nice innocent red headed woman. They had an arranged marriage and strongly disagreed on how to raise their son (see: she baptized baby Uhtred against his father’s wishes) so yeah they were doomed from the start.

4. Queen Iseult: She was the short lived love interest at the end of season one, a virgin queen with her own set of powers. They could have been happy together if she hadn’t been beheaded so quickly. He was pretty broken up over her death so I’m guessing he cared.

3. Aethelflaed: Kim Alfred’s daughter. Her and Uhtred have never had a real relationship but she has had a thing for for a long time and you know I am on board with it. You just have to ignore the fact that her character was aged up for story purposes and if it weren’t for that, he could be old enough to be her dad. I don’t see a full on future for these two but I wouldn’t mind a hook up. Season 4 has some potential.

2. Brida: The feisty Saxon girl who was taken prisoner by the Danes along with Uhtred when he was a boy. I like to think they are end game. In season 3 when they were getting along briefly before Uhtred betrayed the Danes, I thought there was real potential for a reunion for these two. They have always loved each other. She is pretty pissed at him because he left to go save Aethelflaed but he did help Ragnar move on beyond death. She’s stubborn but I’m guessing this won’t the end of them.

1. Gisela: Uhtred’s second wife and the mother of his three children. She tragically died in child birth, possibly because of Skade’s curse. They were pretty darn cute. RIP, Gisela.

Honorable Mention: Hild: Nun and good friend to Uhtred. Though they have never had a romantic relationship, she has always been there for him. He has said on many occasions that she is too good a woman for God alone.

 

Rehash: Week 1 of Big Brother 21

We’re off and running for another summer of expecting the unexpected. After three episodes, we’re getting a pretty good idea of how this summer camp themed season is going to look.

The Twists

The first big twist of the summer was that one houseguest will be named Camp Director, giving them safety for the first week and power that will affect everyone’s game. Four houseguests threw their hats in the ring for this power and in the end Jackson won the power to only find out he had to pick four houseguests to be banished. Those four would compete to get back in the house and one would be out of the game. Jackson chose the three other houseguests who campaigned for Camp Director and Kemi who didn’t talk to him. I feel like this was the best strategy for him. He really didn’t get much blood on his hands (a phrase I really wish they would use less on this show).

In last night’s episode, the second twist of the game was announced. The whacktivity competition. Over the first three weeks, each houseguest will participate once in this comp and each will produce a winner that gets a secret power. Ovi won the first comp and gets one of the best powers to date. After one of the first six nomination ceremonies he can anonymously take both nominees off the block, giving them safety for the week and forcing the HOH to put up two nominees. This is a great way to reek havoc in the house and a good safety net for his game.

The Houseguests 

Holly – I honestly can’t tell her and Anaylse apart especially now that they are in the same alliance. They need to take a cue from MTV and put people’s names on the screen during conversations not just in the diary room. Not all summer just for the first two weeks or so. Or only for people who look similar.

David – Julie said his game isn’t over yet so we’ll see what BB has up its sleeve for this guy.

Nicole – She may be easy pickings.

Tommy – Christie used to date someone in his family. Color me intrigued. Both by who this person in is family is and why they can’t say how he is related to them and also by a potential secret alliance. No one has pulled off a good two person secret alliance in a long time. I am ready for it.

Kat – Before last night I would have said “who?”, now I just want to say “shut up.” She is annoying and I won’t be sad if Christie’s plan to evict her works.

Kemi – She comes in second so far for most annoying. I just think she has a bad attitude and it isn’t going to make her any friends or get her very far.

Cliff – I want to see more of this guy. He is just loving being in the Big Brother house.

Ovi – I like that he was all about throwing comps early on. I will always respect that game play. I do not respect that he is a so called super fan and thinks that means he has some sort of advantage. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t matter.

Nick – His haircut is terrible.

Jack – A lot of people seem to like him which could play in his favor. I do want to know why he has a name tag tattoo on his chest though.

Jackson – Why is he so cocky?

Jessica – Jury is still out.

Christie – I’m intrigued by her. I think she is playing smart so far.

Sam – He takes yelling in the diary room to a whole new level

Analyse – See Holly

Bella – I like her so far. Which basically means I will hate her by week 3.

Gr8ful

20 seasons of Big Brother have shown us that big alliances, especially those made very early in the game don’t last, but I like this alliance so far. If they can keep it a secret (doesn’t seem likely) they may last at least a few weeks. I think their first mistake was how they handled signing up for the whacktivity comps. They should have spread themselves out better over the three weeks. Bella was the only one that competed last night and it would have been smarter to have 2 people compete one week and three the other two weeks instead of stacking themselves all in one comp. It would have helped their odds of getting the powers.

Babysitter’s Club…Say Hello to Your Friends

Babysitter’s Club is coming to Netflix bitches!

So far it has only been confirmed that the main five girls will be in the show — Kristy, Claudia, Stacey, Mary Ann and Dawn. This begs the question what about Mallory and Jessi? Sure they are junior members of the BSC but just as important character-wise.

Mallory is important. Okay so I admit she used to be my least favorite until recently. Until adulthood I firmly believed I was a Claudia. I’m creative. I like junk food. (Though I really cared about school). But after taking one of those amazing Buzzfeed quizzes I had to finally admit to myself I am a full on Mallory. I am a writer after all. She may be nerdy but she is who I relate to the most (even if as a kid I just wanted to be Kristy or Claudia. We can’t all be cool).

Between the Disney Channel show of the 90’s and the 1995 movie, they really got the cast right. If they take a look at the best from each we could end up with the best BSC possible.

Obviously you got to go with the TV Kristy. Movie Kristy is way too whiny.

For Claudia I gotta go with movie here. She is just cooler.

Mary Ann is a tough call; they are both good. TV wins every so slightly. She comes off a little warmer.

Dawn. I’m going with movie. I like her hippy vibe.

Stacey is a tough one too but because Stacey in general kind of sucks (I’m sure a lot of people disagree). Sorry, she is a snob. Movie edges out a little only because she has less frizzy hair. As long as new TV version isn’t crazy about having diabetes and eat terribly and become sick than we’ll be all good. Just take care of yourself, girl.

TV Mallory wins for the sole reason that she doesn’t wear bow ties and talk in a nasally voice about her novel.

TV Jessi also wins out but really only because movie Jessi is used so little and not very memorable.

I’m guessing we’ll see Logan at some point (or least I can hope and dream). I feel his casting may be the most important of all. He needs to be the right amount of dreamy and southern.

Beyond the cast (which I will judge harshly), I’m curious how they will modernize it. How will cell phones and other modern technology will play a role? Does the BSC have a website? Can babysitter’s be scheduled online or through text? How can they justify meeting in Claudia’s room because she is the only one with her own phone line in 2019? Do the kids even care about kid kits? Don’t they just want screen time?

I guess our answers will come in time.  In the meantime, remember, nothing is better than friends.

Rehash: The Ranch Part 6

I was hesitant going into this season knowing Rooster wouldn’t be around but I was happy with how they handled writing the character off. I was glad they killed him. It was the only way that made sense. In what other circumstance would Rooster not be there when his niece was born? It was well done. I ugly cried. A lot. during his memorial service.

I love Debra Winger’s voice. She needs to be around more.

Beau and Joanne are relationship goals.

It is disappointing that Mary has become such a mess. I really liked her.

Going into this Part I had forgotten Dax Shephard was going to be the new Rooster. This is a classic TV show trick. One character leaves so you replace them with another who serves that same purpose. Luke really is the new Rooster in every way. He is a hot mess who has great banter with Colt. Hell he is even sleeping with Mary. They basically just were like “we need to make this guy Rooster but like he can’t be exactly like Rooster. Okay, I got it. He has PTSD. Done.”

And that leaves me with Colt and Abby. I really thought they were going to name their daughter after Rooster. Jameson could be a cute name for a girl. But they surprised me. Also, their relationship is still a mess. I still haven’t found reason to like them together.

Riverdale’s Best Episode Yet Was Missing One Thing

If you watched Riverdale‘s latest episode (Season 3, episode 4) then you know it was one of the show’s best. It was mostly told in flashback about when all the parents went to Riverdale High in the ’90s. All the “teen” actors played their parents and they were all spectacular. I would watch an entire spinoff about these characters. I want to know everything about the short lived Midnight Club.

We learned a lot about the parents. 1. Penelope was adopted by the Blossom’s and literally groomed to be Clifford’s “life partner” (cringeworthy creepy) 2. Tom and Sierra were a secret thing in high school 3. Alice and Fred kissed 4. F.P. didn’t want to be a serpent and wanted to go to college instead, which led his drunk of a father to break his arm. Oh and F.P. was a jock who lied about living on the south side. 5. Hermione basically married Hiram so she wouldn’t end up cleaning hotel rooms like her mom 6. Hiram went to Riverdale High? I swear this is new information. I in no way thought he was from Riverdale.

It also showed us some things we had only been told about in passing. 1. Hermione and Fred’s quick fling 2. Alice’s teen pregnancy

The most important thing the flashback did was give more backstory to Gryphons & Gargoyles and made the mystery of the game that much sweeter. In all the mysteries this show has had, this one has to be the most interesting. There are no spooky voices calling Betty or Archie forming rebel groups to stop murderers. It is just plain good. (Can you tell season 2 wasn’t my favorite?)

But to get to the title of the article: there was one thing missing. Mary, Archie’s mom. We all know she went to Riverdale High. It has been mentioned before. So where the hell was she? Sure I am fine with her not being  involved with G&G but why wouldn’t they have had one passing moment with her? We got to see Hal, not that anyone cares.

I Highly Recommend it: Elite

I’ve told everyone who will listen about this show and now I’m telling you about Netflix’s hidden gem. Elite is the best teen drama in years. Set in Spain, three working-class students get scholarships to attend a private high school after their school collapses. They immediately clash with the rich kids which ends in murder.

The entire first season takes place in flashback and you see how the teens interact with each other and each episode shows a little of them being interrogated by police. You find out which teen is murdered at the end of the first episode — I won’t give it away.

The murder is really secondary throughout the first season. What is most compelling is the relationships. So much is covered in just 8 episodes. There is brothers in love with the same girl, threesomes, closeted guys, love triangles, drugs, parties. So yeah, everything you want from a teen drama.

It is dubbed over in English which took me about the first episode to get past but once you get sucked in by these characters you’ll hardly notice (just try and forgive what can seem like bad acting at times by the voice actors).

Just give it one episode, you’ll be glad you did.

Rehash: Big Brother 20 Finale

For the first time in many years, I did not get worked up into a Hulk-like rage during this year’s finale. I went in excepting to be reminded again why Bayleigh and Rockstar are the worst and to shake my fist at those who vote emotionally. Sure, Bayleigh and Rockstar are still the worst and some of these jury members did vote emotionally but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I think more of them than anticipated voted based on game play.

More than anything though, it came down to the fact that the final three all played good games. Even though they all played different games (I see JC as more of a Chilltown type, never winning comps but manipulating who he has to; Kaycee played a Dan-like game, laying low in the beginning and knocking out comps at the end when she really needed to and Tyler was just all around a great player. He won comps, he back stabbed and made enemies and played a great social game) I really couldn’t be too mad at any one of them winning.

As Julie revealed the votes I thought to myself “Is Tyler really going to win this? Did he pull it off?” In a way I’m glad it came down to a 5-4 vote. They both played well and they deserved for it to be close. In the end I think Tyler played a slightly better game but I’ve known all season this jury would vote with emotion so I’m not surprised Kaycee won.

Now, let’s talk about Swaggy C. Like really, guy? This attention-seeking whack job would propose on the finale, taking the spotlight away from the winners. Is anyone even rooting for these two? He was voted off second. He will be long forgotten by next summer. Oh and be original Swaggy C., Boogie did it first.

I’m surprised Tyler won America’s Favorite Player. Not because he isn’t well-liked (as he himself thought) but because he was in the final two. No one in the final three has won before and I always assumed they lost a lot of votes because they might win the game itself but Tyler proved that theory wrong. He seemed genuinely moved he won. If I had voted I would have voted for Brett so I’m glad I wasn’t the only one that felt that way.

First Impressions: Single Parents

What I Liked: After 20 or so minutes, the characters seem great which is what this show will need to stay in it for the long haul. Rory is amazing already. I want to adopt him.

What I Didn’t Like: How rushed it all seemed. They didn’t have a lot of time to establish a large cast of characters and start Will’s new friendship with them so I’ll let it slide.

What It Needs: I’m sure it will come in due time but I want to know so much more. What happened to all the other parents that made these people single parents and how the group formed in the first place? I am really hoping for a funny flashback detailing how they all became friends (suggestion: Check out the Happy Endings episode with this concept. None have done it better).

Prognosis: Very good. I am already ready for episode 2.

Fall Shows I’m Giving A Shot 2018 Edition

Well this fall looks better than last year when I picked up no new shows. It is also entirely possible I am being less selective in hopes of finding a gem.

• A Million Little Things (Sept. 26) – It is being compared to This is Us but about a group of friends rather than a family. It all starts with the suicide of one friend and I guess is about their journey from there. Its success depends on the characters. If they are interesting and have good relationships, I’ll stick around.
• Single Parents (Sept. 26) – A comedy about a group of single parents. The concept alone isn’t that appealing but Taran Killam and Leighton Meester are enough for me to give it a shot.
• I Feel Bad (Oct. 4) – A comedy about not being perfect. That isn’t much of a selling point but Amy Poehler is the Executive Producer and she has never let me down so that means I’ll give this show at least one episode.
• The Connors (Oct. 16) – I enjoyed Roseanne and quite frankly feel the show can go on without it’s title character. I assume it will continue with its same type of comedy and if we get more David even better.
• The Kids are Alright (Oct. 16) – A comedy about an Irish-Catholic family in the 1970s – yes please. I enjoy a good family comedy (I’d be fine if this had Real O’Neals vibes) and the 1970s fascinate me so…let’s go.
• Legacies (Oct. 25) – A Vampire Diaries and Originals spinoff focusing on Klaus’s daughter as she attends the Salvatore School. Need I say more?

Beth and Rip are the Best Part of Yellowstone

It is evident from Yellowstone‘s first episode that Beth Dutton (third child and only daughter of Kevin Costner’s John Dutton) and Rip Wheeler (the lead ranch hand at the Yellowstone) have a history and some damn good chemistry. It appears to have been years since they had seen each other but that doesn’t stop them from a quickie on a dresser.

Beth is cold-hearted, usually with a cigarette or drink in her hand (everyone blames her for her mother’s death — it would mess you up too) while Rip is a lot softer. Though he is a ranch hand who doesn’t blink an eye at branding another man, he appears to have held a candle for Beth for decades. She’s a mess and he’s ready to fix her. He isn’t afraid throughout the entire first season to let his feelings known, no matter how much Beth pulls away, telling her in the finale he doesn’t care who she sleeps with, he just cares about her.

Though Beth isn’t all stone-cold bitch. She does tell Rip halfway through the season that everyone she loves dies so she isn’t sure how he’s still standing. Gave me chills.

Sure they seem doomed. I mean Beth is a basket case and will just pull out Rips’s heart again and again but I can still want it, can’t I? As the title of the article says, they are the best thing this show has got going for it and I will keep watching to see what they do together and individually.