Monthly Archives: August 2016

Rehash: Game of Thrones Season 5

I took a brief hiatus from GOT to watch the newest season of Orange is the New Black and now I’m quite sad to say I’m done for awhile (well until the sixth season comes out on Blu-ray). I savored these 10 episodes knowing I’d have to wait awhile (I guess like a normal fan). Here are my thoughts:

  • Still loving Daenerys and Daario. May have fist pumped when they were in bed together.
  • Uh, Jorah’s a thing again. Oh and he has Greyscale. I don’t care, man.
  • I like Tyrion with Daenerys a. It is fun to see some of these characters we’ve watched on their own for so long come together. Also, yes, Tyrion please continue defying your family.
  • More Grey Worm and Missandei, please. I was very scared when he got hurt. With the lack of coupling in season 5 they still prove to be one of the best couples, despite literally being shown twice together.
  • Castle Black is still the most boring for me. I  don’t get the hype around Jon Snow. Okay he might be dead (I know he’s not. Thanks, internet) but I don’t get why everyone loves him so much. He’s fine but he’s not anywhere near my favorite character on this show. In fact, he ranks pretty low among the Stark family.
  • I still don’t care about Sam and Gilly. Please don’t come back from the Citadel.
  • This show loves a good near miss doesn’t it? We saw very little of Brienne and Podrick but when she left to kill Stannis (yippee) right before Sansa put in the candle in the window, my heart broke a little.
  • Ramsey. I don’t even know what to say. This guy is a true psycho. He made Theon watch him and Sansa have sex. Gross, man. Very much reminded me of Henry making Bash watch on Reign.
  • Really interested to see what happens to Theon and Sansa now that they’ve escaped. Assuming they are not dead (which I’m pretty sure they won’t be. That would be lame).
  • Most Shocking Death: Myrcella; Saddest death: Stannis’s daughter; Most Meh Death: Stannis’s wife; The Most ‘Bout Time Death: Stannis
  • Okay, I love Cersei. She’s a crazy bitch who is in love with her twin brother and does crazy shit for her kids but I love her and hated watching her in weird religious jail and taking that walk of shame. Here’s to hoping she gets her revenge in season 6.
  • I cried when Myrcella told Jaime she knew he was her father and she was glad. So sweet. Oh and then she died. Classic GOT.
  • I only understand about 15% of what is going on with Ayria at any given time. She’s blind? What? Why? How?
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The End of PLL, Gruesome Deaths, Bitchy Texts, and the Best Couples on TV (In 8 Months)

We finally have confirmation that season 7 will be Pretty Little Liars’ last. I can’t say I’m too shocked since I swear we’ve been told this before.

I’m not sure how to feel about this news. The five year time jump has been good but I could see how watching these girls get tormented as adults just isn’t as fun. Things have gotten out of control as of late. I mean why do these girls not carry gloves with them wherever they go? Why are they constantly leaving fingerprints all over everything? They break in to too many places to let this keep happening.

I will miss the superb couples though. No show on TV has so many great core couples. But when I come to terms with the ending, it is for the best. This can’t go on much longer and still be good.

We’re promised that after the final 10 episodes (starting April 2017) we’ll know who A.D. is and one of the five liars will have a wedding. I’m just guessing that all the Santa boxer significant others are end game so it could really be any of them.

But let’s face it, this wedding better be Caleb and Hanna’s. They have to end up together. I will be soulfully crushed if they do not. I am okay with the possibility of it being Spencer and Toby or Aria and Ezra as long as Caleb and Hanna ride off into the sunset together too. Now Emily and Paige on the other hand…just no.

If the series finale is anything like when Charlotte was revealed as A, my mind will be reeling for weeks with questions and confusion. There are so many loose ends to tie up in just 10 episodes, especially when you consider that new mysteries keep being added (Mary Drake had a second child!). I know I have lots of questions, including (but not limited to) who killed Jessica and whatever happened to Emily’s eggs?

The SNL Skits That Will Always Make Me Laugh (Recurring)

Porn Stars: My favorite recurring in recent years. Vanessa Bayer and Cecily Strong commit to it each time.

Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started A Conversation With: Cecily Strong at her finest, Seth.

Inside So Cal: Though this Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney gem has found its way to SNL, it started long before. This pre-SNL edition is my favorite. Just a legit low-key kickback.

Celebrity Family Feud: Always a great opportunity for the cast to show off their best impressions (especially Kenan’s flawless Steve Harvey). The Justin Timblerlake skit is the best of them all. He is obviously always wonderful on this show and it is a treat watching him impersonate his best bud Jimmy Fallon, who of course can’t keep it together.

Close Encounter: This, like most recurring sketches didn’t need to be repeated; its first incarnation was hilarious.

Girlfriend Talk Show: I love Aidy Bryant and this skit shows her at her best. Poor Morgan just wants to talk about baking.

ESPN Classic: The rest of the sketches on this list are several years newer, but this one still stands out to me. Between Greg Stink’s cluelessness and Pete Twinkle’s unique way of working the sponsors into his commentary, what’s not to love?

Rehash: The Ranch Part 1

I went into this show not knowing anything about it except Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson’s involvement. I started watching on a whim and a few days later I’m done. I greatly enjoyed it.

I’ll start with the best character, the patriarch of the Bennett family, Beau. He’s rough, conservative and set in his ways. He’s written in Ronald Reagan in the last three elections, runs a ranch, has two sons and an estranged wife. Sam Elliott is cast perfectly in this role.

His relationship with Maggie is unlike anything on TV. They’ve been married 30+ years, ran a ranch together but now live apart. They have some of the sweetest moments throughout the first part. I found myself rooting for them to find a way to make it work from minute one. The first part ends with Maggie taking off in her Airstream and my heart broke for Beau. He proved that his gruff exterior isn’t all there is to him especially when he continues to fightto make it work with Maggie and when he got upset when she broughtup the word divorce.

Thier two sons, Rooster and Colt, have a great chemistry. They pick on each other, pull shit on each other, the way real brothers would (see Rooster dating Colt’s girlfriend’s mom). Its works from the start I’m sure because of Kutcher and Masteron’s own history together.

This show has a simple ’90s feel about it. Maybe its the return of Kutcher and Masterson to TV comedy, or the comic relief of the drunk, Hank, or the easy going comedy. I like it for whatever reason.

Some good romantic elements are introduced for the sons (see mention of Rooster’s conquest above). Most importantly, there is Colt’s old girlfriend Abby who ends the first part engaged to someone else but telling Colt she doesn’t see herself married to him. I want to like them but I’m not fully on board with them yet. I think I need more of them to see why they should be a good fit. I guess I just don’t get them together. Heather seems like a better match for Colt.

 

The SNL Skits That Will Always Make Me Laugh (Non-Recurring)

Potato Chip: I gotta start with this one because it is probably my favorite of all time. It is one of the obscure end of the night skits that just makes me cry laughing. Will Forte and Jason Sudeikus are evil geniuses.

(Do It On My) Twin Bed: Who wouldn’t laugh at Jimmy Fallon Winnie the Poohing it? And that picture of child Aidy Bryant? Classic. 

Back Home Ballers: The ladies of SNL are back (including Little Baby Aidy) and they are home for Thanksgiving, ya’ll. I can’t imagine a holiday season in the future where I don’t sing this song while at my parent’s house.

Mother’s Day Monologue: My favorite part: Kenan’s childhood home video is from D2: The Mighty Ducks.

What Does My Girl Say?: Very topical at the time. Three years later though I still enjoy Jay Pharoah and Kerry Washington and the Cloud full of butts.

Wishin’ Boot: This is a spot-on country song spoof. Everything from Kate McKinnon’s Reba-esk twang to Aidy Bryant’s Wyonna Judd look are perfect.

Beer Pong: This was when I knew Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett were going to be great assests to the show.

Dancing: Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett are gold together and this is a perfect example. The best part is a toss up between “It’s practically the hottest club in town. DJs…” and Beck just throwing the video tape at the TV.

Text Message Evidence: This is my sister’s favorite, and I can’t blame her. Eli Manning surprises with his great performance. Plus we’re still quoting “You up?”

Undecided Voter: With the upcoming election, this sketch is scarily on point again.

Least Favorite TV Couples

I try to block out all the awful TV couples so this took a lot of thought.

  • Awkward – Jenna with literally any one but Matty (well everyone except Jenna and Matty, really). Jenna and Collin take the cake. He’s douchey and she cheated on Matty with him. Um, no. You DO NOT cheat on Matty McKibben.
  • Degrassi: New Class- Grace and Zig. Okay so maybe they haven’t ever been a couple but she did kiss him and it made me uncomfortable. Just stay friends. He should obviously be with Maya and I really think she should just be with Zoe already.
  • Fuller House – Kimmy and Fernando. He is so annoying. Where’s Dwayne? That guy rocked. Whatever.
  • Girl Meets World – There are so few couples on this show, it’s a tough one. I guess since Corey and Topanga are my favorite, that makes Shawn and Katy my least favorite. I don’t dislike them that much, but I do feel like the show skimped out on making us feel for them. We’ve barely seen them together and now we’re supposed to care about their rooftop impromptu wedding?
  • Grey’s Anatomy – Gizzie. That’s everyone’s answer right? Just wrong. And creepy. Just no.
  • Heartbeat – Alex and Jesse. Only because he’s not Pierce.
  • Nashville – Avery and Scarlett. It’s been a long time since these two were together. All I know is I hated Avery then and now he’s one of my favorite characters. I don’t think that’s a  coincidence.
  • New Girl – Jess and Nick. When they aren’t together, they are great. I enjoy them dancing around the sexual tension. Though somehow they got together and it was terrible. Pretty disappointing.
  • Night Shift  – Scott and Jordan. They kissed this season. Please don’t get back together. No one wants to see that. He can date whoever he wants, even if that is T.C.’s crazy sister-in-law. Jordan can and should only date T.C.
  • Orange is the New Black – Larry and Piper. Though I mostly dislike her with Alex, I do sometimes warm up to them. Plus Larry was annoying. No one is sad that he is gone.
  • Pretty Little Liars – Emily and Paige. Paige tried to drown Emily. Do I need another reason?
  • Reign – Bash and Delphine. She’s creepy and I miss Kenna.
  • The Royals – Liam and Ophelia. Snoresville.
  • UnReal – Rachel and C0leman. I enjoyed them at first (even though he was clearly less awesome than Adam) and then you know he manipulated her into confessing to murder. So you know there’s that.
  • Vampire Diaries – Stefan and Valarie. We all know she was just filler until he got back together with Caroline. Plus her mouth is weird. I don’t want to look at it anymore. I feel like they could have cast someone better.
  • When Calls the Heart – Abigail and Bill. Does anyone like this guy? Thank goodness Frank came along.
  • Younger – Kelsey and Thad. He is the worst. Cheater. Don’t RIP.

Monica and Richard are the Sexiest Couple on Friends

I have to start by saying Monica and Richard aren’t my favorite couple on Friends. I love Monica and Chandler, and Phoebe and Mike, so at best, they are my third favorite. But dang are they the sexiest couple in the show’s ten year run. Maybe because its forbidden or Richard is the sexy older mustached man. Whatever reason, its true.

Their first kiss in his office is epic. Her dropping the eye drops makes that scene 10 times hotter.

Then they realize their age gap and decide to call it quits. Well, for about one minute. “We don’t really have to decide anything right now, do we?” Monica asks.

They can’t keep their hands off each other and I’m still watching 20 years later.

Their heart-breaking break up makes going back and re-watching their romance that much sweeter.

Oh and when they reunite six months later for a brief tryst, it’s still good. The chemistry definitely didn’t go away in their months apart. And to mirror their kiss in her apartment when they decide to call it quits on that first date, Richard shows up at her door while on the phone with her and they kiss. And it’s just as satisfying.

It doesn’t take them long to realize they can’t see each other. They are exactly where they were before. But Monica still suggests “one last game of racquetball” and throws her shoes. They still got it.

I’m Going to Miss Taran Killam on SNL

This week it was announced that Taran Killam’s contract was not renewed for the 42nd season of Saturday Night Live. I’m going to miss his presence on the show. He brought a lot to the table.

  • His original characters. NEXT!
  • His impressions. Matthew McConaughey, Christoph Waltz, Brad Pitt. He does them all but none better than his impression of Eminem.
  • His chemistry with Vanessa Bayer. They came on the show at the same time and I always enjoyed watching them play off each other.
  • What he does backstage. His reenactment of Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend” video led me to binge listen to the song for several months.
  • He’s great at playing the straight man.
  • His adorable family. His relationship with Cobie Smulders makes me happy.

Ranking the Disney Channel Original Movies

Over Memorial Day weekend Disney Channel showed all their original movies. I recorded all the ones I enjoyed in middle school and rewatched them. Some held up much better than others. Seeing these movies now through the eyes of an adult, this is how I would rank the best of the Disney Channel Original Movies.

  1. Cow Belles – Two rich girls get brought down to earth as they are forced to work at their dad’s dairy and help save it from ruin. I’m not sure what made me watch this movie originally. It aired long after the rest of this list but that doesn’t mean it isn’t the best. Michael Trevino is a great match for Taylor. It is the classic rich girl, poor boy match, and I eat up every minute of it.
  2. Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century – Cetuslapetus! I really loved this movie as a teenager. Zenon gets sent to earth as a punishment and then saves her space station from ruin. A young Gregory Smith definitely helps. Plus, Margie steals the show.
  3. Rip Girls – A teenage girl goes back to Hawaii where she was born and learns about her roots and the mother she can’t really remember. I loved this one a lot when I myself was 13 and even as adult it was still quite good. It is a lovely tale of a girl finding out about her heritage and the mother she never knew. I’m also pretty sure 13 year old me was pretty into Kona. So dreamy. Now, I just notice that he wears the same shirt every day. Sydney could do better. I also desperately wanted this outfit:
  4. Alley Cats Strike! – Alex is a vintage and bowling loving outsider. When it is up to his bowling team to take home the big trophy for  his town, he learns all about how popularity isn’t everything and the importance of friendship,etc. Most important is the casting on this one. You’ve got a young Kaley Cuoco wearing poodle skirts, the kid from Cousin Skeeter, the dad from my fav Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movie, Passport to Paris, and the dad from Sister, Sister. It is basically the who’s who of obscure actors from my early teen years.
  5. Motocrossed – I couldn’t remember much about this one where Andrea poses as her twin brother Andrew to race motocross. I was thinking the love story was a bigger part but I still enjoyed it even 15 years later. I’m always up for a story about someone pretending to be someone they’re not. Plus a good throwback seeing Gale Leery (Dawson’s Creek) and so many phone calls on landlines and waiting for things by snail mail. The message that girls can do anything is timeless so it is easy to look past the things that make this movie so obviously 2001, like Andrea’s outfit that consisted of a fuzzy blue ombre sweater, skirt and Sketchers.
  6. The 13th Year – A teenage boy turns into a mermaid after his 13th birthday, you know normal stuff. So many questions. Why do mermaids conduct electricity? Why is his extreme thirst a sign he is turning into a mermaid? The nerdy side kick Jess definitely steals this show on this. Oh and Cody’s parents, who win the award of DCOM parents I most want to have.
  7. Smart House – Full disclosure: My recording went wacky about 30 minutes into this gem. Luckily it is the DCOM I watched most in my middle school days and thus still remember it quite well. The moment I heard “Jump Jump the House is Jumping” I was transported back to 1999 and a time when Ryan Merriman was a hunk. Okay, the gist, Ben enters his family into a contest to win a smart house. The smart house goes haywire when it gets jealous of Ben’s  dad’s new girlfriend, much like Ben is. It is actually pretty dumb but I really liked it in 7th grade. Mostly because the house was so cool. I wanted my wall to into a B*Witched music video (well more like NSYNC but the same idea applies).
  8. Zenon: Z3 – Zenon competes in the Galactic Teen Supreme contest with her friends. Not important. What is important is she once again saves the day (from the moon goddess destroying earth because she is angry they are trying to inhabit the moon. No really this is the plot). Most importantly, Zenon has a new love interest: Moon preservation activist Sage. After a sequel all about aliens, its about time Zenon got some action.
  9. Zenon the Zequel – Speaking of that sequel, Zenon is up to her shenanigans again, this time making contact with aliens and trying to get everyone to believe her and in the process once again saving her space station. It was pretty disappointing to teenage me that Zenon and Greg break up in the first three minutes of the movie without even a glimpse of Greg. Despite that the movie still has the same crazy antics of the first and Marjorie is still a delight.
  10. Johnny Tsunami – A teenage surfer has to move to Vermont and learns to snowboard. The best part of this film – A young Jett Jackson and Kirsten Storms. Other than not, not much of note here. Everyone learns a valuable lesson about staying true to who you are and ending grudges.
  11. Ring of Endless Light – A girl can communicate with dolphins. It sounds dumb and it kind of is. The love triangle is the only interesting thing going on here. I realized this much to my disappointment as teenage me loved this one.
  12. Quints – A 14 year-old girl wishes her parents would stop paying so much attention to her. Her parents have quintuplets. She takes back said wish. The narration and Zack Morris-esk breaking the 4th wall technique instantly showed I’m no longer the target audience for this movie. Highlight: Baby Jake Epstein. Low Point: Pretty much the entire movie, especially the main character Jamie Grover.

 

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Lived Up to The Hype

For awhile I was seeing things on the internet about how great Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is. I finally decided to give it a shot and was not disappointed. It is easily my new favorite show. It is like nothing else on TV. It basically created it owns medium, with it’s mixture of drama, comedy and musical numbers.

The songs are so clever. I’ve found myself listening to them on Spodify and can’t wait to see what songs will be added in Season 2. “Settle for Me” is a stand out (and I must not be alone in that feeling based on the number of Spodify listens).

The characters are also great. Greg in particular is super adorable. I ship him and Rebecca hard core. My strong feelings about them makes me almost dislike Josh. Maybe its because we are constantly being told how great he is by Rebecca or more likely it is just that Greg is more my cup of tea. He’s flawed, sarcastic and a little broken. Plus you’ve got Paula who everyone wants as their best friend. Who wouldn’t love someone so dedicated to their best friend (and their obsessive love for their ex-boyfriend) that they ignore everyone at their Thanksgiving table? Then you’ve got Darrell, the biggest surprise of the show. His coming out story was brilliant and kooky. I ship him and White Josh and I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t.

Rebecca Bunch is basically me dialed up to a 10. I think a lot of people feel this way and that’s why she’s so watchable. She thinks the things we do and then does the things we all dream of doing (faking a break in in your apartment, following your high school boyfriend across the country, and the list goes on). Plus “Heavy Boobs” is the song I never knew I needed to describe my life.

When it comes down to it this show is a cross between two shows I love – Felicity and New Girl – both with protagonist who are awkward and annoying. Rebecca Bunch can join these ladies on the list of the TV characters most likely to make me uncomfortable.